“Helping others and… selfishness?!”
“What does selfishness have to do with helping others?”
“And what’s this—Is it good to help others?! What kind of question is that? What could possibly go wrong if I help people?” you’re wondering.
Well, what if I told you that you shouldn’t help others? What if I told you that helping people is an utter waste of time? And what if I told you that you should focus on being selfish instead?
Would you be surprised?
Stay with me here—this isn’t what you think it is.
Alright… hold on for a moment and tell me one thing.
Did you ever imagine coming across such a silly question—as silly as it gets:
Is it Good to Help Others?
Most probably not.
But I asked this silly—or rather, “stupid”—question anyway. And now you’re upset. Simply because it hurts, right?
I understand.
So stay with me for a moment. I’ll clarify.
The truth is, I know you love helping others. And I really wish there were some other way to say this (I swear to God), but there isn’t. To be honest with you, I was shit‑scared that you might hate me for saying it. Still, I had to get it off my chest—for a simple, straightforward reason:
I just couldn’t lie to you (unlike so many others).
So please forgive me for being blunt, but here’s the plain, naked truth:
Helping others in need is the stupidest thing one can do.
Now… am I trying to insult you, mock you, or undermine your “how to help others” intentions?
Are you kidding? Of course not.
I know you have a heart full of love and compassion. You’re so keen to help others that you’ve even earned the nickname “the very helpful guy.” You believe that helping others and happiness are two sides of the same coin. So much so that people know they can rely on you whenever they need help—with anything.
For example:
Your cousin can borrow your bike anytime he wishes. Your friends can ask you for money whenever they need it. And your classmates can call you even at 2 in the morning if they need help focusing on their studies.
People consider you the most helpful guy around—and rightly so. You’re always eager to help family, friends, classmates… even strangers. In fact, you’re constantly looking for ways to help others.
Yet quite often, you wonder why you aren’t as successful as others—why your “good karma” isn’t rewarding you. In other words, why you’re getting nothing in return despite helping so many people.
“Maybe it’s just luck. Not everybody can be super successful, right?” you console yourself. But deep down, you know you’re lying to yourself.
That discomfort matters more than it seems.
What if your helping nature is actually your own worst enemy? What if success demands that you do certain things differently? And what if you’re avoiding the very thing you need to embrace?
Let me explain.
Want Success? Be Selfish
The truth is, if you truly care about being successful, you must be willing to embrace “selfishness.”
“Does that mean I should become a selfish person?”
Yes. Haven’t you heard the saying, In a selfish world, the selfish succeed?
“No, I can’t do that.”
Don’t you want to be successful?
“I do… but—”
“Man, I don’t know. Becoming selfish to achieve success feels wrong.”
Wrong?
I get it. I know where you’re coming from. So let me explain what being selfish actually means. Then you can decide for yourself whether selfishness is right for you.
What Does “Being Selfish” Mean?
It simply means taking care of your needs, desires, and wants first. Doing what you believe is right for you—without caring too much about what others think of you.
That’s it. Nothing more. Nothing less.
A selfish person takes good care of his body, mind, and soul. He knows he isn’t here to fix the world, help others, or sacrifice himself so others can thrive. In other words, he doesn’t suffer from the Savior Syndrome—a condition where one tries to save everyone else and eventually fails to save even himself.
This is where most people quietly burn out.
A person with a healthy sense of self understands that the only way to help others—without consciously trying to—is by being joyful. He knows he can’t give joy to anyone unless he enjoys his own life first. He also realizes that the only real way to lead people is to lead by example.
That’s my definition of being selfish.
And it doesn’t matter who told you that it’s your job to help people.
Because it isn’t.
If some help happens naturally, that’s fine. And if it doesn’t, that’s fine too. You cannot take responsibility for other people’s actions anyway.
As Abraham Hicks puts it:
“Don’t try to save the world. Save yourself.”
When you help others, you focus on lack—that’s why people need help in the first place. They don’t have something.
(The Law of Attraction says that whatever you pay attention to grows.)
You don’t have to agree with this to observe the pattern.
So when you focus on helping, you’re focusing on what’s missing. As a result, you create more lack, more misfortune, and more situations where people need even more help. In short, the more you help people, the more they need help.
It’s a vicious cycle.
The good news?
You can step out of it—by embracing selfishness.
“If I Must Be Selfish to Succeed, Why Do People Condemn Selfishness?”
Because they want to use you.
When people say it’s wrong to be selfish, what they’re really saying is this: don’t focus on making yourself happy—focus on making us happy.
In other words, they’re asking you to deprioritize your own well-being so someone else’s comfort can take precedence.
That logic is deeply flawed. And there’s more.
You look down on selfishness because you confuse being selfish with being mean. But they’re not the same.
Selfish vs. Mean
A selfish person focuses on himself. He has no intention of exploiting others.
A mean person, on the other hand, focuses on others—mostly to take advantage of them.
A selfish person depends on himself. His energy goes toward his own growth and upliftment. A mean person cannot survive on his own; his existence depends on using others for personal gain.
Clear enough?
Does Selfishness Make You Uncomfortable?
I understand why you resist selfishness. You were conditioned against it. You feel guilty the moment the idea crosses your mind.
That’s normal—especially in a country like ours, Bharat, where sacrificing oneself for family, religion, or nation is considered sacred.
Sacrifice your happiness. Sacrifice your joy. Even sacrifice your life—but don’t focus on yourself.
Now pause and think.
You’re being taught that it’s acceptable to sacrifice your happiness, even your existence, for others. The hidden message?
You don’t matter.
Otherwise, why isn’t anyone telling you to live? To really live—with joy, bliss, and fulfillment?
Because people need scapegoats. They need bodies to fulfill agendas, serve interests, and carry burdens.
That’s the game.
Seen this way, it’s unsettling.
Yes, embracing selfishness goes against tradition. But here’s the fact: your world exists because you exist. The day you’re gone, your world disappears too. That alone makes you the most important person in your life.
So take good care of yourself—very good care.
Helping Others and Being Selfish
Do you want to change the world? Help others? Make a difference?
I have some bad news.
You can’t.
The world doesn’t want to be changed. And even if it did, you can’t control how people behave. You can’t take responsibility for others’ choices. And you can’t force anyone to live the way you think they should.
That’s free will.
Happiness has value only because sadness is an option. Forcing happiness violates choice. People have the right to live as they want—and so do you.
You can spend your life trying to change the world and remain miserable. Or you can focus on changing yourself—the only person you truly control.
When you change, when you become joyful, something interesting happens. Without effort, without intention, you raise the vibration of those around you.
You don’t do it.
It happens.
Instead of Helping Others, Inspire Them
Helping others can be addictive—and for a reason.
When you help someone, you feel good. Your ego grows. You start seeing yourself as special, different, extraordinary. And if you’re honest with yourself, you’ll notice something uncomfortable:
Helping others can be subtly sadistic. It often has more to do with enjoying someone’s pain than helping them end it.
That doesn’t make you bad—just human.
If you truly want to help people, stop offering a helping hand.
Inspire them instead.
Help yourself. Work on yourself. Grow. Let your joy speak.
Don’t sell it.
Let them buy it.
Helping Others and Success Don’t Go Together
You’re free to believe that helping others leads to success.
But it never has.
Selfishness or helping others—the choice is yours.
If you choose selfishness, understand this: it takes time to get comfortable with it. But it gets easier the longer you stay with it.
And finally, remember this:
You’re not here to help people. You’re not here to be a hero. Leave that to Spider‑Man.
You’re here to live your life.