I don’t know what I have been thinking all these years and why I stopped following my heart.
You see, I have been working on my website, this personal development blog for quite a few years now. Years! And the progress?
Actually, I have nothing to show for it—for the work that I put in, and for the long hours that I spent mostly on “polishing my articles.”
Why did this happen? I am not sure but I think I was being delusional.
How?
Well, I started this website back in 2011 after I had the golden opportunity to interact, inspire and guide my personal development classes student in Subharati University, Meerut in March 2010.
And to tell you the truth, it’s not even my first online venture. I created a blog online back in 2000. The idea was to make some easy money online because that was the rage in those days, you know.
And do you know what did I name that blog? It’s embarrassing, but here you go:
“A blog about anything and everything.”
Shit!
I thought I could make some money by posting/writing some stuff. What stuff? I had no freaking idea.
And then later in 2005, I came across StevePavlina.com, which changed my thinking. I thought it was possible to get into the field of personal development and make a name for myself. But there was an issue, I had no technical background. I knew nothing about websites. And then I spent many years and also wasted lots of money learning about websites and how to operate them. Today, I realize that that stuff should be best reserved for technical people. The technical aspect of how to run a blog is not for normal guys like me.
During those years, I started reading more and more personal development books, articles, blog posts, and whatnot but I failed to realize that I needed to be ME and not someone’s carbon copy.
So, the essence is that since 2011 I have committed a lot of mistakes when it came to personal development blogging.
(Don’t worry, I won’t bore you with them).
It’s funny how working hard primarily for making money is a sure-shot recipe for failure, depression, and frustration. If you don’t know how to connect to your heart and follow it wherever it takes you.
It’s true that working hard on making your dreams come true is essential. But it’s also true that you must realize what direction you’re working hard in.
In my case, didn’t I work hard?
I sure did but in the WRONG direction.
Why do I say that?
Because I thought I could become successful by ignoring my heart and running everything through my head.
I don’t know about you, but it has surely not worked for me.
And guess what? Yesterday, after reading Steve Pavlina once again, I realized that the Universe does not reward copying or imitating somebody, no matter how hard you try. What it actually wants is for you to follow your heart, even if the path is all fuzzy and even if you have no clarity as of now.
I remember when I got the opportunity to train students in personal development back in 2010, I had no clue what will I talk about, and then I came across an article, or book (don’t remember what was it), that said, “Speak from your heart and you’ll do just fine.”
And so I did. And you know what? I became a celebrity of sorts in that university among the students and teachers alike. Praise, appreciation, and respect—I got everything during those short 40 days of my equally short career as a speaker.
After the classes got over, I tried my hands at opening a personality development training institute in Meerut and ended up teaching spoken English.
I failed, again.
Because I had stopped listening to my heart and I had become calculative. It’s true that I got a couple of assignments for corporate training and radio jockeying training as well but nothing concrete came out of them.
Then, I came across Smartblogger.com where I learned a lot about writing and how to polish it to deliver my message. And that’s a good thing but it still didn’t feel right.
You see, I have always been pulled towards personal development, though my astrologer says that I should go into something that involves a “screen”. He has repeatedly asked me to join a TV channel or start making youtube videos but I don’t feel like that’s my thing.
At present, I am a voice artist and I like being one. But it’s not something that I truly LOVE. So, after all these years of dabbling, I am seeing a pattern here: whenever I follow my heart, I feel good and my finances also get a boost. And whenever I ignore my heart and follow the thoughts running in my head I almost always get screwed.
What about you?
Do you follow your heart? Or do you ignore that little voice and follow your head instead? And how has it been working out for you?
Think about it.
And probably you may find that though everything is working fine, you are far from being happy or “blissful.”
Because let’s face it: we, as a generation have been trained to be “head” persons and ignore the heart. “The ways of the heart are devastating,” they say. But I have found it’s the other way around. It’s the heart that knows where to go and what to do, and how to feel good about being yourself.
So, from today, I am going to follow my heart, no matter how silly, stupid, or idiotic it may appear to others.
I have realized I am here to live my life and not serve others’ interests.
Are you with me?