Can a broken person help others?
In other words, can a “broken” person help others get “unbroken?”
This is the complex I had been struggling to get over with for the past many, many years.
Can I, a “broken” man help others get healed, integrated, and become whole and healthy in body, mind, and spirit?
Tough question, I know.
The truth is: I had not been able to muster the courage to answer this question until recently.
The funny part?
I didn’t need to answer to anybody other than myself. And still, I found it hard to look into my eyes and say: Yes, you can!
In my fondness for cowardice, I kept avoiding the question because I wasn’t sure if I could answer it.
How could I assert that I can help others get over their “brokenness?” Who am I to speak to others about giving their lives a new direction? What authority do I have to speak to others about being integrated when I myself was recovering from the “fragmentariness” of my life?
A timid voice inside my head kept bullying me, “You’re still in the process of picking up the broken pieces of your shattered dreams. I don’t see even a single reason why anyone should listen to you.”
Guess what? I believed that voice because it sounded logical.
I Mean, How Can a Broken Person Help Others When He Himself is Broken, Right?
But then, something happened. Something within me started changing. Some sort of inner transformation took place.
Because I did something that I hadn’t done before: I started loving myself.
And now I am seeing a new and different point of view taking root within my being, which is:
If not me, then who? If not now, when?
And my heart says I am on the right path. Only a person who has been into the dark corners of a scary forest is qualified to guide others to avoid pitfalls, give them a hand, and offer them consolation and hope because he’s been there. He knows what lies ahead. He is aware of the problems and the challenges that are most likely to bubble up.
On the other hand:
How can a person who has never been broken, sad, or disappointed know how to overcome such stuff? It’s impossible. At the most, he can “pretend” to know how it feels to be in a depressed state of mind, and that’s about it. He can read about depression, he can go and watch YouTube videos about it. But he will have no first-hand experience of what exactly being depressed feels like.
Being Broken and Helping Others Getting Unbroken
And so, this is what I want to say to you:
Being broken is how we all learn our lessons. That “brokenness” is, in fact, the starting point of getting integrated. Self-doubt, lack of confidence, and lack of courage to speak up one’s mind are necessary precursors to growing oneself into a loving, strong, and rooted individual.
There’s a catch, though:
You cannot overcome your brokenness by fighting with it. The only way to transform yourself is to start loving yourself. Love both your “strengths” and “weaknesses.”
Embrace your brokenness.
Keep loving yourself no matter what because self-love is the glue that’ll transform you into an integrated person.
I say you are the most qualified person to help people battling with their “brokenness.” After all, who could be more suitable to nudge others in the right direction if not the one who had been lost in the dark woods of life for a long, long time?
You know what it feels like to be in a “tight spot,” and also how to get out of that spot. That’s why you’re the “right” person to assist others on their journey.
So if you have been holding yourself back from speaking your heart out through a blog, YouTube channel, or whatever medium it happens to be, don’t anymore. Instead, go and speak your heart out. You have the capacity, the power, and the necessary experience to help others heal. Your job is not to heal them but to help them heal themselves.
Yes, you’ll feel fear and cowardice. But then who doesn’t?
Do you think I am not scared to open myself up in front of you? I am. But I have learned one thing: You got to do what you got to do, irrespective of fear of failure, fear of rejection, or fear of being ridiculed.
Accept your brokenness and add self-love to the equation. And you shall realize that you are the best person to help and guide others to overcome their brokenness. For the simple fact that you’ve been there.
And if you still think you don’t have what it takes, remember this:
If not you, then who? If not now, when?