I should have asked this question a long time ago, but I didn’t. I assumed it was just a coincidence. I thought things would improve with time.
They never did.
I tried self-hypnosis, affirmations, and subliminal recordings. But the losers didn’t go away. Still, I didn’t lose hope. Things got worse, but I endured, thinking it was just a matter of time.
Today, I realized that attracting losers and difficult people into my life was neither a coincidence nor a matter of “luck.”
Why Positive Thinking Hasn’t Changed the People Around You
Are you cursed? (For something you did in your past life?)
Were you born under the wrong stars?
Or are you simply not doing enough?
None of the above.
Repeating affirmations first thing in the morning is a ritual for you. Positive, uplifting books and materials are scattered everywhere in your room. You “raise” your vibrations every single day by sitting in meditation.
You do notice a little progress in the beginning. But then, within a few weeks or months, things return to where they were when you started. Once again, you find yourself surrounded by losers—losers, and more losers.
Fuck.
I had been feeling sick since last night—a mild cold, a runny nose, and a slight fever. Along with it came a familiar heaviness: depression and desperation over having so many deeply frustrating losers in my life.
So I sat with my eyes closed and took inventory of the people around me. And I was shocked to notice a cold, hard truth that had been there all along, right in front of my eyes.
Most of the people surrounding me—aka “the common man”—were deeply stuck people: people with little or no financial education, no sense of direction, and nothing particularly good happening in their lives.
In other words, they were stuck.
(And so, in many ways, was I.)
In those moments of deep frustration, I asked myself, “How did I attract such difficult people into my life?”
A small voice popped into my head and said:
“Because you are a jerk yourself.”
“What? You think I’m a jerk?”
“Yes. You attract losers and miserable people into your life because you feel like one yourself. Remember: you don’t get in life what you desire, but what you are. If you feel like a loser, you’ll attract losers.”
“So what do I need to do?” I asked.
“Acknowledge that you are a loser. Accept yourself.”
Really? Gulp.
Alright. Sigh.
I closed my eyes and focused inward, trying to find out how I actually felt. And there it was: a sense of being beaten up. It was painful. Very.
I stayed with the feeling of being a loser. In fact, I became friends with it. After about fifteen minutes, I felt relieved.
Do I still feel like a jerk? Yes—but the intensity has decreased.
If You Keep Attracting the Same People
Blaming them never brought me any clarity. Blaming myself didn’t help either.
What helped—if that’s even the right word—was stopping for a moment.
Sitting still. Eyes closed. Not trying to fix what I found.
When I looked inside, there was no single answer waiting for me. Only a feeling.
Sometimes it felt like cowardice. Sometimes like failure. Sometimes simply like being a loser.
I didn’t try to improve it or rise above it. I stayed.
I let the feeling be what it was, without naming it good or bad. Without turning it into a project.
And in staying—without effort, without instruction—something slowly loosened.
I don’t know how long it takes. I don’t know if it looks the same for anyone else.
I only know that when I stopped running from the feeling and allowed it to be there, it no longer needed to chase me.
That was enough for now.