No one is coming to rescue you!
How did that sentence feel?
Well, you’re not alone in feeling that way. You see, most of us are conditioned to think in terms of being rescued by someone. And you know what does that mean? It means that somebody else is doing things to you and that you’re not responsible for your life.
Well, guess what? That’a lie.
A big fat lie repeated over and over again so you never realize that you do have the power to take control of your life. So that certain people or groups of people can control you.
Do You Believe in Fairy Tales?
Just like most children, I believed in fairy tales because they sounded fascinating to me. And I still do believe in them. One of my favorite fairy tale movies is “Shrek.” A typical “Rescue” movie.
A beautiful princess was held captive in a monster’s castle. And obviously, she was sad. Then Shrek arrived on the scene along with “Donkey,” and the princess was rescued. They fell in love, got married, and lived happily ever after. You know the story, right?
Well, nothing wrong with fairy tales as such except that they give a wrong message. And that is, they make you believe that life happens to you, and you have no power to correct it.
By and by, you feel powerless and then you start believing that you don’t need to take responsibility for your life. Because no matter what, somebody will always be there to rescue you.
This false hope keeps you intoxicated for years, maybe for the rest of your life.
And if someday, by luck or by chance you realize that your life is your responsibility, you feel like banging your head to the wall.
“What? Does it mean that I kept myself in the dark for all those years? Crap! Can I do something now?”
Sure, you can.
The very first thing you can do is accept the fact that no one is coming to rescue you. Once you accept that, you’ll realize that only you have the power to rescue yourself. In other words, you can change your life, you can save yourself.
Here are some ideas to help you “save” yourself.
Quite often the best thing to save yourself while in “tight” spaces is to “hang on.” In other words, persist. Keep going.
Persist for one more day, one more month, one more year. Just hang on.
Yes, life can beat you down but only if you let it. And by the way, I get it. You are passing through a difficult phase. You are depressed and are having “drastic thoughts.” Maybe you think that ending it all is a good idea. But is it?
Listen: There’s no guarantee that tomorrow will be all golden and shiny but what if it can be? What then?
Will you give up now, at this point?
Explore Your Options
Life gives us quite a few options to choose from.
But here’s a catch: An option that appeared quite right in the past may have lost its charm now.
So what? Big deal.
If one door is closed, why not find another one? Or maybe look at the same door from a different angle. Do some soul-searching and find out what other options you can take advantage of.
Let me explain.
In 2003, I wanted to become a successful radio jockey. I did what I had to do and made a place for myself in radio jockeying. I had quite a fan following, and then, after 3 years my perception changed. I started thinking that a successful voice acting career would give me more joy.
So, I prepared myself for a voice acting career and jumped right into it.
Do you see what I did? I didn’t hold on to the option that appealed to me in the past. I explored the options life presented to me and took advantage.
Also, back in 2010, a company hired me to give personality development training to college students. And guess what? I liked it. Very much.
Training young people in personality development and writing personal development articles made sense to me. And I have been doing that with great joy since then.
Never limit yourself to an option that felt right ten years back. Life changes and so should you.
Market Your Talents
You see, marketing your talents is important if you’re serious about being successful. And when it comes to marketing, “being humble” is a lousy idea.
But I know why you try to stay humble most of the time and don’t tell people about your talents and skills.
I get it.
You met some loudmouths in the past. You know, the people who boast how good they are at every freaking thing. And boy, did that irritate you.
It did, right?
And you decided that no matter what, you will never irritate people by explaining how talented you are. This might be the reason why you avoid marketing your talents.
It’s alright if you have been doing that to yourself for quite some time now. Just get over it because I have some good news for you:
You can market your talents without being a jerk. The only thing you need to do is to learn to use polite yet powerful words to describe your skills.
Get Rid of “Toxic People”
When I say no one is coming to rescue you, I am not kidding. Especially, when it comes to saving yourself from negative people.
Only you can get rid of nagging, toxic people.
It’s always better to be alone than in a bad company. And there could be nothing worse than hanging out with toxic people.
Now, what do I mean by “toxic.” Well, the people who complain a lot. They complain about the economy, the weather, the politics. Anything.
Their favorite pastime? Dragging others down with their “negative talk.”
Start making distance.
Build Your Team
You are good at certain things and not so good at some other things.
So, what do you do?
You build a team to work on your behalf. Agreed, you may find delegating tasks to other people difficult because of your fear that a particular task may not get done the way you want.
Well, guess what? You’re not wrong.
Nobody can do a certain task the way you do. But if you keep on doing things you’re not so good at, you shall not be able to focus on the things you do best.
Listen: I understand that you want to stay in control, (we all do, at times) and it seems difficult to you to trust someone with tasks close to your heart.
But the truth is that trying to achieve perfection in everything is a hurdle on the road to achieving greater success.
Of course, things go wrong at times, but the more you teach people about the work you have delegated, the better the results will be.
So, trust other people. Let go and relax.
Save Yourself by Educating Yourself
I am not talking about formal education, though that too, is necessary.
We are talking about “non-formal” education. In other words, life skills. And “life skills” is a broad arena, which means learning this and that and that too.
Let me explain.
Back in 2001, I had no idea how the internet worked. At that time, I was working as a surveyor. Once I visited to survey an internet café and there I created my first-ever email address.
Then, after a couple of days, a friend told me over the phone that he sent me an email that I must check. And guess what? I was planning to go to the same internet café.
Can you imagine? 🙂
My younger brother laughed and explained that I could check my email account from any computer connected to the internet.
Oh! I didn’t know that. 🙄
But then, I learned as much as I could about the World Wide Web and how it worked. In other words, I educated myself. And things improved. A lot.
So, how do you go about “educating” yourself? Well, the best option is to join a local library. There, you can read books on various subjects because you see, no matter what you want to learn, they have a book for that.
And remember: learn as much as you can because nothing goes to waste in life. Even the job that you hate.
Here’s an example:
I worked as a copywriter with a private FM station some years ago. After just 1 year I wondered if I was wasting my time writing copy for corporate clients. But, I was wrong. The experience I gained as a copywriter came in handy when I started writing articles for my website, avdheshtondak.com.
When Life throws Lemons at You, Don’t Frown, Instead Make Lemonade
I launched this website in 2010 and was quite happy with the design.
After some time, I felt the need to change certain aspects of the site. But, unfortunately, the web designer (who designed the original design) was unavailable for the next year. Now, a year was quite a long time and I had no option but to do the changes myself. The only issue was that I wasn’t sure if I could do that.
But then I had to get things done, so I decided to learn a little bit of web designing. It took me a long time and I made quite a few mistakes. This website, avdheshtondak.com was down for almost 9 months. But, I learned what I had to and made the site live.
So, the point is:
No matter what you’re going through. You can always make progress by making the best use of available resources.
Quit from Futile Battles
It feels good to be in a battle when you’re sure of your victory. Now, what’s the first rule of the battle?
You must know if the battle you’re fighting is your own battle. Otherwise, you’ll waste years of your life fighting for someone else (which you’ll regret later).
Why do I say so?
Because sometimes you find yourself in the middle of a tussle that you don’t want to be in, to begin with. And there are many reasons for that…peer pressure, the desire to be socially acceptable, and maybe to prove to yourself that you are a hero. I am not kidding.
For years I was fighting a battle I thought was mine, and that it was worth my time. The group I was with was spending a lot of time, energy, and money in that pursuit, and we were quite sure of our victory. But an unexpected thing happened: days, weeks, and years passed by, and the victory was nowhere to be seen.
After a long contemplation and mind tussle, I realized that that battle was nothing but a wild goose chase. And guess what I did?
No One is Coming to Rescue You. Don’t Wait. Rescue Yourself
Now you know that “being rescued” by someone is a naive approach and you should rely on such a plan.
It’s your life and only you have the power to change it the way you sit fit.
So, don’t sit and wait for a “miracle” to happen.
Prepare yourself to rescue the most important person in your life: Yourself!