7 Lessons I Learned as a Personality Development Trainer

My first ever personality development training program was in March 2010. A software training company hired me to deliver PD classes to B. Tech Students in Subharati University, Meerut.

It was an unexpected thing for me since I had no previous experience in the personal development field. Here are seven lessons I learned as a personality development trainer.

People Crave Love and Appreciation

Believe it or not, the very first lesson I learned while working as a PD trainer was my observation about the hunger for love and appreciation.

People crave love and appreciation. Studies, academics, competition, this and that, it’s all there but the need to feel loved and appreciated is as integral a part as sleep and hunger.

I learned a lot from my students about how much of a difference love and appreciation can make in people’s lives. Many students approached me during the break time and explained how appreciated they felt during our personal development discussions. It reinforced my core belief that no matter what, the craving for feeling needed and appreciated will always exist.

People Don’t Need Help. What they need is Gentle Support

When I started in the field of personality development, I thought that people needed help and that I should do as much as I possibly could to help them. I studied books, listened to various motivational speakers, watched YouTube videos, and then condensed the message and delivered it to my students.

Most of the students were curious and willing to progress in their academics so they could get decent jobs and live a comfortable life. But my illusion that people need help was shattered to pieces. No, people don’t need help. I feel that assuming somebody needs help is kind of unproductive. People are capable of helping themselves. What they actually need is support, and that too, in a gentle manner.

I realized that my role was to act as a catalyst and not to impose my ideas of what should and shouldn’t they do. In other words, people need loving support and not “help” in its traditional sense.

Forcing Somebody Seldom Works

Though I was new to teaching, I came to understand what a grave mistake other teachers were making by forcing students to learn.

Forcing someone to put their heart and soul into learning and becoming a better version of themselves seldom works.

While it’s true that a college is a place to learn, that’s no excuse for teachers to force their students to learn. However, that’s exactly what many teachers did. And failed. Miserably.

So I learned from their flawed strategy and decided not to force my students to stay in the classroom.

We had a clear understanding: Sit in the classroom only if you’re interested in learning something new that can prove beneficial for your future. Not interested? That’s alright. Leave before the class goes into session so interested students can learn.  You go outside, play on the ground, sit in the canteen or do whatever.

Everybody was happy.

Too Much Media Consumption (Or Even too Little) is Harmful

Most of the time in our PD sessions, my students and I discussed what was happening around us. And that made one thing crystal clear: Most of the students were under the influence of negative media discourses. Their worldview was majorly negative.

The fact of the matter is, that the best way to shoot your blood pressure and become a negative loudmouth is to consume media regularly. Watch any news channel for just 1 hour and the whole day your mind will be filled with negative thoughts, biases, and assumptions.

If you want to grow as a conscious human being, then seriously consider dumping the media by going cold turkey. You can try out a 30-day trial and see for yourself where can it take you.

What you think and how you feel dictates how your days and weeks and eventually life will turn out.

When You Support Others, the Universe Supports You Back

During my 40-day personal development training journey, I turned into a highly positive person. I started to think positively and felt good most of the time. My vibrations were different from what they had been before the personal development sessions.

It was unbelievable.

During that whole time, I woke up early and went to bed late at night. And it felt kind of good. I felt blessed.

Since I was busy for almost 14-16 hours a day, I had no time to watch the news or indulge in idle gossip. The only time I had available for myself was the Metro Travel Time. I squeezed every drop out of it by reading “The Success Principles” by Jack Canfield (affiliate link). The ideas presented in the book made a huge impact on my attitude and within 15-20 days, my attitude was positive and life-affirming.

I feel that since I was supporting my students to improve their lives, the universe had my back in supporting and evolving me as a positive, happy, joyful person.

People Want You to Connect with Them via Heart

During my first day at Subharti University, I had no idea what I was going to teach.

Then I remembered an article that I had read just the night before. It stated that now a highly acclaimed speaker was faced with such a situation when he was supposed to deliver his first speaking gig. Confused, he asked one of his friends for advice who said, “Speak from your heart and everything will be fine.”

Despite having no formal training in training others in personal development. I feel I did fairly well because I spoke from my heart. I knew that personal development is a field that needs not so much technical know-how but the ability to speak from the heart.

When You Do What You Love, Distance Doesn’t Matter

Your workplace can be near your home. You may be able to reach your office in just 10 minutes. But even then, you’ll get tired if you hate your job.

On the other hand, if you love what you do, covering a distance of almost 190 kilometers 6 days a week doesn’t matter much. It’s not the work that tires, but our attitude toward that work that keeps us lethargic and complaining all the time. And the interesting part is, that the more we complain, the Universe gives us more things to complain about. The reverse is also true, the more we appreciate, the more things we attract into our lives which we can appreciate.

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